Dating in today’s world is already complex, but when you’re both Black and POZ (HIV-positive or living with herpes), the weight of double stigma can make it feel nearly impossible. You’re not just navigating dating—you’re also confronting racial bias and health-related discrimination at the same time.
What Is “Sexual Health Racism”?
Sexual health racism is the intersection of racial prejudice and stigma surrounding sexual health. It shows up when Black individuals living with HIV or herpes face heightened discrimination due to both their race and their health status.
Common examples include:
- “Aren’t HIV rates higher in the Black community? That makes me nervous.”
- “Herpes is more common among Black folks… are you clean?”
- “You’re Black and POZ? That’s too much to handle.”
These microaggressions often come disguised as “concern” but are rooted in racism, misinformation, and shame. It’s not just stigma—it’s a systemic issue that impacts self-worth and emotional safety.
Real-Life Experiences on Dating Apps (Tinder, Hinge, PositiveSingles)
Tinder & Hinge
Mainstream dating apps may promote “openness,” but for many Black POZ users, disclosure leads to immediate rejection or silence.
- “As soon as I disclosed my status, they unmatched me.”
- “I get fetishized as a Black man—until I mention herpes. Then I’m blocked.”
Being Black on these platforms can mean being reduced to stereotypes. Being POZ adds another wall to break through.
PositiveSingles & Other Niche Sites
While POZ-friendly platforms offer safer spaces, many Black users still feel underrepresented.
- “Most of the profiles I see are white—I feel out of place.”
- “I want someone who understands both my health and my background.”
Dating is about more than just shared health status—it’s also about shared culture and mutual understanding.
Finding Connection & Understanding in the Black POZ Community
Here are ways to build relationships that truly see you—beyond stigma and bias:
1. Join Black-Focused POZ Communities
Platforms like Black POZ, Black Herpes Dating, or ChristiansWithHerpes offer safe, culturally aware spaces for connection and support.
2. Look for POZ Support Groups That Center Black Voices
Not all support is created equal. Prioritize groups (online or local) that understand the unique experiences of being Black and POZ.
3. Tell Your Story—On Your Terms
Use social platforms or blogs to share your truth. Others like you will find comfort, encouragement, and real solidarity in your voice.
4. Follow Black POZ Creators & Advocates
Creators and influencers who speak on sex-positive health and Black identity help normalize the experience and dismantle shame.
5. Set Your Standards—Don’t Let Stigma Set Them for You
You are not a burden. You are not broken. You deserve love, care, honesty, and real intimacy—just like anyone else.
Final Thoughts
Dating while Black is tough.
Dating while POZ is tough.
Dating while Black and POZ takes resilience, self-love, and a strong, supportive community.
But you are not alone. There are people who will embrace all of who you are—your truth, your background, your strength.
At Black POZ, we’re building that space.
A space where you don’t have to explain yourself.
A space where you are already enough.